it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
