if i can run in heels then i can drive
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
