i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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