His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
