But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
