plz talk dirty to me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
