yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
