he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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