No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
