for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I AM VODKA MAN
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize