honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
