Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
