I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
