guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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