He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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