Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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