is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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