She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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