so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
