we're blogging at a bar
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize