The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
