Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just tell him i said nine months
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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