the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
