Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
