Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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