There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
