perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
