This is not my ceiling
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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