I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
