This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
