talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
