Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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