I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
