Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
