this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
