i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
