it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
