I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
