i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
