Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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