I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Couch. On fire.
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