what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
