Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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