May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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