no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
