i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
