Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
