Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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