i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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