9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
