very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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