Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
