I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
